Sunday, November 28, 2010

Wiener Dog Security

People are always asking me, Gymi how do you keep that priceless collection of vintage Yamahas safe from those who seek to remove them from your possession? Do you employ a crack team of security professionals? Do you have a top flight state of the art security system? Do you sit up around the clock seven days a week, three hundred sixty five days a year armed with heavy artillery? Do you have a flight of F-22 Raptors flying combat air patrol over you garage? My answer always is sort of.

Truth be told I utilize a impenetrable security system that consist of two wiener dogs, yes my friends, two wiener dogs. Skeeter and Sammy (PaPa) have fifteen years of front line security experience between them. Not even the tiniest interloper can escape the keen detection senses of these two. No Pit Bulls, no Rottweilers, Dobermans or German Shepards for me, only Wiener Dogs will do.

They are low to the ground so they posses both aerodynamics and stealth as qualities that they utilize in the field. Through keen sense of sight, no movement escapes detection. They can hear a tick clinging to a blade of grass at two hundred yards. They can accelerate from standing to four or five m.p.h. in around twenty seconds and can reach a terminal velocity of seven in about a minute. Which means the can cross the expanse of my compound in a quarter of an hour.
The wieners are always fun to have around and come with the added bonus of keeping my possessions in my stead. They are loyal to a fault and have a will of iron. I still have all three of my Yamahas, Plus I haven't seen a Badger around these parts for quite some time.Badger

Till Next Time.............

10 comments:

Richard said...

Great security. I was once told by a police officer that the best anti-burglar deterrent was a dog. Not a big dog, or a nasty dog, just a dog. A small one if it makes a fuss is just as effective as a 120lb Rottweiler. I'm sure your bikes are safe for a long time.

Plus your dogs are cute.

bayou_boy504 said...

Funny post sir.

Gymi said...

They do make a lot of racket at the slightest provocation

mq01 said...

wiener dogs are the best! ive had many in the family over the yrs, fabulous dogs...

Gymi said...

They are the first dogs I've had that weighed under a hundred pounds, they have more personality than most. I’m hooked.

Thanks for stopping by Ms.M

Grumpyunk said...

Even my old crippled ass could outrun those fat little things! Damn if they're not cute though. Wait a minute......They're not like that rabbit in that Monty Python movie are they?

Gymi said...

They are pretty slow, the rust and black one actually fills in guarding the Cave of Caerbannog when the rabbit goes on holiday.

Doug said...

Ah yes, the noble Dachshund! We have a mini-wiener dog named Holly that came to live here when Debbie and I got married five years ago. Holly is afraid of nearly everything but I know she's just saving up her ferocity for the day when one of those pesky badgers shows up.

Debbie Foster Klassen said...

Actually, I think they could outrun most burglar-butts, even old crippled ones, at least for 50 yards or so. Most Doxies I've known could be quite ferocious if crossed and it is a trait of the breed to be very protective of their owner and territory. However, if Doug takes to expanding his bike collection, we will expand our wiener dog collection accordingly...er, for the security, sure.

Gymi said...

They're never boring to have around. The black one (Sammy) is more bark than bite. And he barks at everything. Skeeter, is the one to worry about. He lives up to the dachshund reputation. He's a bit territorial and protective and doesn’t back down from anything. Anyone trying to get anything past him would have mighty sore ankles.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...